happy and sad

in the eyes of a cat

i think im going mad

all those thoughts in my head

- sebastian zanier

another crossroad

ku cuba

ku cuba lagi

ku ingat ok

ku ingat ku faham apa ertinya

tapi ku tak tenang

ku inginkan sesuatu yang tidak pernah cukup

sampai bila?

cita-cita ku

impian ku 



dan kan ku cuba lagi

kerana hakikatnya ku tak kan mengerti.  

Russell Brand 

lets live

my life has been reduced to mundane. not that it was ever different before but just that when i look back i feel like it is, joining the dots backwards seems far more interesting than to where i am moving forward. i have nothing to look forward to. or at least I don’t know what i am looking forward for.

listening to the same two tracks that was on repeat during my across the world leg through russia makes me want to go back just there.

i miss them, i miss them all. the korean freak and the malay wanker. only them know the me then. and nobody else could understand.

i am no longer looking for answers. there are no questions. only a beat. living by the day. dreaming and wishing of things that i may never obtain. hoping for things that are not in my hands.

its like my thoughts are not working anymore. or have they been taken over by something else?

its just you and me. hello.

and then you realised you have been sitting in front of the computer, getting baked and listening to john legend and beyonce. frank ocean and charlie winston. 

and you feel like you want to do so much. and all of it. will you?


round and round it goes. and then you get stuck. and then you are back free. 

and every worthless word can’t seem to shake off the pain. 

patience & dissapointment - i knew you started ******* * *** c***


My heart is aching where only imagination can describe what’s going on in my heart, my brain, the entity of my feelings, if ever it would be in a solid form. 

and what about failure?

Uruguay to legalize marijuana, Senate says

fluidity in motion; working in perfect symmetry. 
the photo that won me a canon 60d.

fluidity in motion; working in perfect symmetry. 

the photo that won me a canon 60d.

one for the organisers. 
superdry launch. pavilion. 

one for the organisers. 

superdry launch. pavilion. 

my fiance. ♥
at the superdry launch. pavilion. 

my fiance. 

at the superdry launch. pavilion. 

overcoming addiction. russell brand. 

are you with me?

grey: edwards, do you know how many dogs the russians sent into space before a man walked on the moon?
edwards: those poor puppies.
grey: edwards, we are going to do a necropsy and we are going to find out what went wrong, and then we'll try again. and we will fail again, because that is what progress looks like.
edwards: progress looks like a dead sheep.
grey: no. progress looks like a bunch of failures. and you can have feelings about it, because its sad, but you cant fall apart. and one day we will succeed, and we will safe a person's life. and we will walk on the moon.